Trying to find work.

It is critical that I put in some serious time towards finding a job this week. I have been out of work for about nine months now. I have been able to keep my place thanks in part to Veteran's disability compensation. However, it has not been enough and will not be enough to keep a roof overhead and the internet on.

Naturally, I am worried about the job hunt. My employment record has been spotty to say the least. I have let my mental illness prevent me working and not having a stable work history will hurt me in my chances of finding the next job. If I bring up my condition as reasons for not working to a hiring manager, then there is no chance of me getting a position. I would prefer to be honest but being forthcoming about my depression and anxiety will only hurt the job search.

I am considering taking anti-depressants again. This should help me with the energy and focus of the job search. It will at least, chemically, reinforce a positive mood that might help with feeling somewhat optimistic about life. Even though I haven't taken my Effexor in months, I continually take my daily Clonazapam.

I had a nice Thanksgiving but Christmas will likely be a bummer. I have no money for gifts and a large family. I would hate to admit that I am broke but I have no choice. This year there will be no gifts under the tree.